What Not To Wear
My 9 year old self just LOVED to dress up!
It’s October 31st and millions of people will spend billions of dollars to eat candy and dress up as someone (or something) else today. It may be fun to dress up as someone else for an event. But what about when we habitually wear an invisible mask to hide who we really are, when we pretend to be someone we’re not.
Too often we’re just not happy with ourselves. If we’re tall, we want to be short. If we have curly hair, we want it straight. We’re an introvert, and we want to be outgoing. We covet another’s talent or riches and don’t appreciate the talents and blessings that we have. Sometimes it’s more sinister. We subtly lie or cheat and may not even realize we’re doing it, stuffing the truth to maintain a certain façade.
Someone greets us, “Hi! How are you?” Outward smile. “Fine, thanks!.” Inward despair. “If you only knew.” Of course, we don’t need to share our innermost thoughts with everyone we encounter. Sadly, not everyone who asks the question even cares how we really are.
But God calls us to honesty and transparency, not deception. The dictionary defines “mask” as:
(1)a covering for all or part of the face, worn to conceal one’s identity. (2)anything that disguises or conceals; disguise; pretense.
ANYTHING that disguises or conceals – pretense – that’s a mask.
Today my daughter shared with me her dilemma about whether to share a possibly hurtful truth with a friend. She wants to respond as “nice Lauren” – smile on face, “that’s okay” on lips. But her insides churn with the truth. It is not ok, and today she will take off that mask and speak the truth in love. (Eph. 4:15) Sometimes being honest is a risk. We risk being accepted. But if we aren’t honest in the relationship, we are playing make-believe which only increases our insecurity in the relationship. “What if they find out the real me?”
Paul said: We are not trying to please people but God, who examines the motives of our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask … God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else… 1 Thess. 2:5-6
Last week, my facebook friend Robin Prater posted, “Being the REAL you is so much better than being the FAKE you. If we spent as much time seeking the Lord for who we are to be as we do trying to be like others, just imagine all the possibilities.”
Imagine the possibilities of life without the mask!!
www.eternitycafe.blogspot.com
ps – Funny but true:
Hi Susan,
I enjoyed reading this post about masks – especially as over the last week I shared my thoughts in the same area. A lot is said about the wearing of masks at church – and whilst I agree totally about the need for transparency before God (as if he can’t see through a mask anyway!) I am still not convinced whether it is ALWAYS right on ALL occasions to take our masks off. Some masks are worn for a period of time for protection. My thoughts on mask wearing has also led me to consider whether I encourage others to take off their masks – do I listen enough? give enough time? judge? So many thoughts!! If you are interested – hop on over to my blog and read ‘The One with the Mask’ and ‘Masks (an extra little bit)’ I have found the whole issue interesting and challenging 🙂 Great to read another post on it. Thanks
Jo 🙂
Dear Jo,
I so appreciate your comment and the posts on your blog. I couldn’t agree more. There are certain times with certain people that masks are not just appropriate, but necessary.
As a recovering mask-aholic, I am stumbling my way to more transparent living. I had different masks for different people and different situations. And at times, the only one I was fooling was myself.
I love your insight to be the type of person who encourages others to live mask-free, to love unconditionally, to listen with sincerity.
Thanks for sharing! Great to “meet” you ;D
Susan
Hi Susan,
This was an excellent reminder. Being transparent in our relationships helps to make others comfortable to take their masks off to us. I have now prayed for Lauren that her conversation with her friend will go well and will be received like Proverbs 28:23. There is nothing as uncomfortable in a friendship than to be silent when there is a behavior occuring that needs to be addressed. May the Lord prepare her way and her words fall on a receptive ear.
Hi, Susan:
Wow, this is quite a challenge. There’s a fine line, isn’t there, between being dishonest and being wise? It takes a great deal of wisdom, I think, to discern when to speak, when to be still, and just how that whole “telling the truth in love” thing works anyway.
I find that when I’m around an authentic person, without having to know everything about their inner lives, it frees me up tremendously to be authentic, too. Funny how I seem to just gravitate toward those kind of people. God, help me to be that kind of girl!
Waving and smiling, my friend,
Rhonda
Susan:
I believe some close friends of mine are dealing with this issue of masks. We often see people on the surface being friendly, cordial, and, maybe, even caring but deep inside they are anything but.
My friends work in children’s ministries at our church. They felt the need to institute a change for their activities for the winter. They have met opposition from several fronts. I will be praying for them tonight and tomorrow and Wednesday. The change will start on Wednesday. Could you please pray with me?
Mina, Excellent insights! So very true. Thanks for sharing. Your comment spoke directly to Lauren. Thank you so much!
Rhonda, It is quite a challenge sometimes. You’re so right – Authentic people make it easier for others to be authentic. May we be authentic.
Cecelia – Of course, I’ll pray. I’m honored to pray. It’s hard when there is division in the church. I’m sure that grieves the Lord. May all hearts involved seek His will.
Even though honesty can be hurtful sometimes, it is good to know if the truth is spoken in love to us.
Thank you for the reminder to loose our masks.
So awesome, and true.
Iris,
I think because it can be hurtful we tend to hide or mask the truth. But I’m just learning the freedom of lovingly sharing truth rather than letting my true feelings churn inside. It has deepened my relationships.
Denise,
Thanks for the encouraging comment. He is the Truth and will show us the Way.
Susan, what a wonderful post! So true too today, we so often wear masks and hide our true identity. But we can never hide who we really are from God. He sees us for who we really are. I loved, LOVED the picture at the end. I think I will have to steal that and post it on my facebook. 🙂