Holding Nothing Back
When I reached to hug her and she held back a bit, I knew immediately that something was wrong. No, wait. I knew way before that. A mother’s heart knows things. I’ve told her that for years. Well, at least I didn’t tell her what my mother told me…..she’d say, “Angie, I have eyes in the back of my head”. Hmmm, yeah right.
When I became a mother, I developed those eyes. But they weren’t located in the back of my head. Mine developed in my heart. My heart sensed things. Still does. Not just with my children. With my husband too. But, we won’t go there today. Back to the hug.
I had been reading….the same page for an hour. Without going into all the “nightmarish” details….I will give you the short version…pierced belly button. When she held back a bit from the hug I always give, my little motherly voice screamed in my head “she did something”! When I looked into her eyes and questioned her—I saw the guilt. She knew I would, which is precisely why she avoided the “closeness” when she came home.
That’s exactly what we do as Christians. We dangle our feet in a relationship that we know is not good for us. We envy what another has. We are jealous over the financial blessings of another. We lose our temper with someone we love. We focus more on our “physical bodies” rather than our “spiritual bodies”. (Don’t leave me at this point—until I make my point.) We rebel. We stray.
On and on we can go, listing the reasons why there seems to be a gap between our Father as He reaches out to hug us….or why we pull back from His love. But the main reason is, we don’t want Him to “see” what we’ve been up to …..AS IF! When will we clue into the fact that He KNOWS everything about us?
Psalm 139:1-8 “O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in–behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge it too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.”
There is not a day of our existence that our heavenly Father is not aware of. If we have not felt His nearness, it’s not His doing. He has been there….waiting up on each one of us. He never slumbers….after all….all of His children are not yet home.
Heavenly Father, today is the day we turn to You whole heartedly. Today is the day we quit pretending that we can keep any secret from You. Today is the day we come clean. We open the box we’ve been carrying around and release to You all of our problems and faults. Holding nothing back. Saving nothing for later. We empty our baggage of issues and trials into your capable hands. Knowing that You are far more able to handle each situation. Each unsaved loved one. Each prodigal child. Each unstable life. Every disease. Every heartache. Father it is yours. We release it to You.
Now, as we release it, please replace each problem, each heartache, with peace as your Word says….that peace that passes all understanding. In the powerful name of Jesus I pray and believe~Amen.
Blessings to you all!
I love this!
Oh I can see myself in this a few years back. It was not until God broke me and I released everything in the box, it is then at that time He can begin the healing of what we are hiding.
Blessings
Angie,
Wonderful post. I am incredibly thankful for the Father’s patience with me. I was once that young girl not with a pierced belly button but with so many other things. Praise God, He never let me go.
Have a great day!
I loved your message, I have been the hold out child on God so many times, and it feels sooo good when I hug Him up close and personal. Just to melt in His arms of Grace and Mercy. He always whispers in my ear, “My precious child I love you.” I am so glad that He never gives up on me even when I do hold out, His Spirit just keeps wooing me back into His arms and I say, “Lord I am so sorry I broke contact with you, please hold me close and love me again, and He Always Does.”
Have a God Blesses Day. MD
Angie,
I have a gap.
I’m in a dark valley right now. I could use your prayers. I am shameless asking everyone I know to lift me up– I need help in this battle–I’m not doing so well on my own.
Great post Angie! God’s mercy, grace, and relentless love are uncomprehendable to me. Oh, that I could be more like Him!
Amen! I keep trying to explain to my daughter that God already knows what she’s done so it’s pointless to keep it hidden and then that truth bounces right back to ME. Sometimes it’s so tempting to try to ignore sin instead of admitting it honestly.
This is awesome.
I smiled as I read this simply because as a teenager I did the same thing, not the pierced belly-button but the holding back. What is it about mother’s that they always know when something’s not quite right? I love how you tied it in to our Heavenly Father. So often we hold back from him and all he wants to do is hold us in his arms and love us.
It is so true, Angie. He knows it all and we still try to hide it from Him sometimes. We think that we can resolve things with our own strength, but need His help more often than not.
Thank you for the reminder that our Heavenly Father see and knows all.
Be blessed today and always.
Angie…
I read down and saw that you were here…..your words AGAIN are fabulous..the lessons the God teaches us through our children are amazing! I smile when I think about how just the other week, my youngest has to ‘retest’ at Tae Kwon Do…it flustered me..He knew what to do, How to do it….but he just didn’t, well….just not well….and STING right into my spirit came the voice that asked…”aren’t YOU glad I allow redo’s? GOD”
Your story reminded me of that….I have tried to hide from HIM, a female version of Jonah…I know there is no hiding….run as you try!
So glad that I found this!!
Perfect timing!!
lori